Teaching in Thailand: Holy (Expletive Deleted)

I think it's been about a week since I'd written my last blog. It feels like it's been ten years. My first week and weekend here seemed to stretch on forever. Every day in Bangkok feels like a month. With it being my first week as a teacher, I felt completely overwhelmed at different times for different reasons. At the start of the week, I thought I was screwed. "There is no way I can teach these brats, I'm not a teacher, I was never trained as a teacher, I have no idea what the (expletive deleted) I am doing in this (expletive deleted) school. HELP!"

However, like I said, that was already six or seven years ago (in Thai time). The rest of this blog posting won't be so hopeless, I promise.

So the first day of classes started. One of my coworkers walked me around to different classes and introduced me, where I ran through a gamut of Thai teenagers, staring and gawking at me, like I was a new American toy for them to play with--it's sort of broken and doesn't understand a word they're saying, but it's funny for them anyway. Then I started teaching my first class, a level 3 English class for Japanese majors.

About twenty minutes into class it struck me: I have never been trained to be a teacher before, and even worse than that, I always assumed if I WAS to teach...hmm...maybe they'd speak the same language as me. It's not that these kids don't know any English, but I suppose my expectations were a little too high before classes started. But I barely managed to make it through the class, teaching them the simplest of introductions, and then transitioning into what hobbies we like. Difficult stuff, huh?

Then my level 1 started. Before I started teaching, I had been told by every teacher, coworker, and Thai citizen that the kids are bad. Like, really bad. Like, screeching, annoying monkeys with the attention span of a goldfish and a relentless love for talking on their cell phones. Oh, they were completely right.

Not all the kids are just terrible, but for the most part, I am more of a babysitter than I am a teacher to these level 1 bastards. I'd say half of the first class was spent just waiting for them to shut up just enough for me to say a few words. I mean, I could start cursing to describe how flustered and overwhelmed I was, but then this blog would just be too long.

My biggest concern, however, wasn't that the kids were misbehaved little monsters. It was, "what the HELL am I going to do to fill two hours worth of class time every day?" I mean, seriously, what am I going to do? I don't really know how to make lesson plans (nor do I want to) and for a while that Monday, I was pretty much depressed. I just had no idea how I was going to do this job, even though it was pretty much how everyone had described it to me. How do you really prepare for that kind of thing anyway? It's one thing to hear about it, but it's another thing to be screaming over twenty 16-year-old girls who all speak a different language than you.

So how did things get better? Why haven't I moved back to America or David Carradine'd myself in my closet? I've had a lot of help from some of my fellow foreign language teachers in my department. Joel and Roger in particular, fellow English teachers, assured me that my feelings of desperation at the beginning of a semester are completely normal. Joel told me that he always starts class 15 minutes late and ends 15 minutes early. Play lots of games.

Little things like that have really helped me get acclimated to teaching in such a different environment. Also, when I am not teaching my little level 1 monkeys, the kids aren't really too bad. My highest level class, IEP (Intensive English Program) are actually eager to learn, and not too dumb either.

So things are slowly getting better. I still feel like I'm going to explode when I am in my Level 1 classes, but everyone just says to relax, and don't take it too seriously. All I know is that teaching here is a LOT different than it is back in the states. I'm continually amazed by how relaxed everything has been from the school. No one has even checked in on my classes to make sure that I am...ya know...teaching. I feel like I could be some degenerate drug addict who barely got his bachelor's, and now they're trusting the education of their youth in my hands. I mean, luckily my drug problem isn't that serious, so that's not the case.

Ok, phew, on to more fun things. The weekend. I had a really good time this weekend. Unlike during the week, where I spent most of my time alone and in the neighborhood (because let's face it I still don't know how to get around), I went out Friday and Saturday night to some different bars. I met up with Andy, the guy who had the same job I have now, and who lived in the same apartment that I live in now. We had emailed before I got to the Thailand, and this weekend he showed me around and took me to some pretty groovy little places. And yes, there was alcohol.

Andy is big into rugby, so I met all of his rugby mates (I say mates because most of them are British), played pool, watched a rugby game (Australia beat England, bullocks!) and had some beers. They were all really great guys, and the rugby team they play on is like one big social network for meeting new people. I may join them for a practice or two and see how I like it. Now I don't know if anyone reading this has any experience with rugby, but it looks like it hurts. A lot. Like, a whole lot. But hey, a little pain might not be bad. At least it'll be good exercise.

Yesterday I actually jammed with a fellow expat I met through a coworker, David. He plays drums, and was eager to jam with someone else, since he hadn't done it in a while. We went to a small studio that comes fully equipped for musicians to just come in and start playing. And for the low low price of 150 bhat (4.50) per hour, it was a great little deal. I got to play bass, and even jam on some Multicoloured Mirrors tunes. He was a pretty good drummer. He's a bit older than me, and maybe we won't become best friends, but it's always fun to jam. Always.

Well that's all I can think to write about for now. I just got out of teaching a level 1 and I am exhausted, contemplating changing all the stuff I wrote earlier about how things are getting better (just kidding...sort of). I am slowly starting to figure my way around the city, and the more I learn the more I enjoy it here. I'll just make sure I keep relaxing at work, and not take anything too seriously (sounds great right), and I think things will continue to be smoother.

Oh, one more thing I wanted to mention: THAI FOOD IS THE BEST. There is nothing more satisfying than getting a big delicious plate of rice and pork and veggies for 25 bhat (about 80 cents). I guess it's just cheapskate in me, but it makes me so happy. Street food is absolutely delicious as well. It's so fresh and spicy and exciting. Wow, I just reread this paragraph and I sound like a food-worshipping fat-ass. Oh well, a spade's a spade, right.

Home and Neighborhood Photographs

balcony

my school

my neighborhood

ooooh pretty

house across the street from me

more balcony

when i was out at a bar, i had to ask my friend liu how to use one of these toilets. i was very confused, and i still hate using them. we're civilized people. we can't use toilet paper, and ya know...flush? yeesh.

kitchen which i never use.

downstairs

bedroom shot 1

bedroom shot 2

these are just a few. there are more to come. i have some pictures of loi kratong, which is like a big festival carnival that they have once a year. it was very fun.

Tomorrow is my last day of my first week as an English teacher. I will write a long rant-induced blog about all of that at the end of the weekend. It started out rough, but has gotten much better in a short amount of time. So I am half glass full about my abilities as an English teacher in a foreign world.

The First Four Days: A Stranger in a Strange Land

I wanted to make sure I wrote one blog before I started teaching (which is in less than twelve hours now). I know that once I become a full-fledged employed resident of Bangkok, a lot of things are going to change. I don't think for the worse, but it will still be nice to look back and remember the few days I didn't have any responsibilities.

The flight here was was long, cramped, and filled with bad action movie sequels (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is AWESOME). Once I got to Thailand, though, things got much better. I was picked up from the airport by several of my CSB (Charansanitwong School of Business) co-workers. They graciously bought me some of the most delicious Thai food I've had since I've been here, and showed me to my apartment. My bedroom is almost twice as big as any I had in my college apartments, and for the first time in my life I have my own queen size bed to sleep in. I feel like royalty. My apartment only has air conditioning in the bedrooms, so needless to say, I have spent most of my time in my place in my bedroom, basking in the freezing cold air.

It's hot in Bangkok. I mean, duh, it's hot. But it is like, really actually very hot. The ten minute walk to the CSB puts those annoying spots of sweat underneath your chest and on your back. Also, Thailand is rampant with homeless dogs. There are dozens on every street. I was told about this before I got to Bangkok, but there are even more than I imagined. They're all so calm. They just laze around outside, and sleep under cars during the day when it is too hot. Sometimes when I see a group of five or six walking together I get a little nervous, like they're all going to synchronize and tear me to shreds, but they don't. They just mind their business. I haven't pet any yet though, because I don't know how they'll react. Sorry Thai dogs.

Liu and Ploy, two of my coworkers, have been wonderful in that they are showing me around, taking me to markets, and bringing me out so I can socialize like a normal person. The first day I was here they took me to the music shops where I found a left-handed acoustic guitar. Having that in my bedroom feels good, comforting. I'm learning how to play some of my favorite Kinks songs.

Most everyone here speaks at least a little English. Since I've been here I've learned how to say a few things in Thai. Mostly "thank you" and "good afternoon," but I made sure to learn how to say "very beautiful" so I can make sure the Thai girls I will be hitting on understand me.

Each day I have had some activity or something planned out for me. I've gone to some very big markets and done some shopping, went out to a bar and met plenty of Ploy's friends, where I happily taught them some important swear words that every English speaker should know.

On Halloween Liu and I went to Koushan Road, a famous Thai bar scene filled with foreigners and westerners. There were thousands of people walking through the street, laughing, drinking, listening to bad American rap music. Many people dressed up, which I did not expect them to do, but it was great. It reminded me of America. It was also nice to see that Halloween is just an excuse to go out and get smashed in other countries too, and not just America. It's an important Holiday I think.

I start teaching pretty soon, and as of right now, I'm a little nervous. I haven't really been told very much on how to actually teach these kids. Mostly what I have heard is that they are all pretty badly behaved and don't really care about learning English. That's good. I was once that the best way to succeed in this job is learn from your mistakes, so I am going to start making a whole bunch of them and just see what happens. I have a vague idea of what I am going to talk about tomorrow (greetings, introductions, learning about yourself) but nothing absolute. Perhaps it's not the best way to approach teaching, but I am just going to play it by ear. Hey, if the school isn't worried about my abilities as an educator, why should I be?

The most difficult part about being here so far, for me, is that I just don't know where anything is. If I want to go to a bar, or to a particular part of town, I have no idea how to get there. Of course I can take a taxi, but what if he doesn't speak English well enough to know what I am talking about? And I am not really sure what my address is, so how am I going to tell him how to get back to my place? Any of the going out I have done has been with someone who knows these things. Of course, it's only been four days and I didn't expect to know the entire map of Bangkok or anything like that. Today I walked around for a few hours just looking around at stuff. It felt good getting a chance to just experience things as I saw them. It took my much longer than it should have, but I found the Central Shopping Mall that is pretty close to my house. I was proud of myself for finding it by myself, without needing the help of a taxi or experienced Thai resident. The rest will come with time, and soon I won't need Liu to go get drunk in Koushan road (even though it would be more fun if he was there, because he is a super nice, cute little Chinese guy).

I really guess things are going as well as they possibly can be. I have some really nice friends, a good apartment (with a nice, but scarcely present roommate), eaten some great food, seen some awesome places in the city, and haven't gotten sold into sex slavery (yet). Of course, everything is going to change once I become Adjarn Nick, and the responsibility starts for real. I'm not too worried though, I think these Thai kids will like me. I'm pretty laid back and plan on playing them some Beatles tunes the first day. I mean, who the hell wouldn't like a teacher who did that?