Teaching in Thailand: Holy (Expletive Deleted)

I think it's been about a week since I'd written my last blog. It feels like it's been ten years. My first week and weekend here seemed to stretch on forever. Every day in Bangkok feels like a month. With it being my first week as a teacher, I felt completely overwhelmed at different times for different reasons. At the start of the week, I thought I was screwed. "There is no way I can teach these brats, I'm not a teacher, I was never trained as a teacher, I have no idea what the (expletive deleted) I am doing in this (expletive deleted) school. HELP!"

However, like I said, that was already six or seven years ago (in Thai time). The rest of this blog posting won't be so hopeless, I promise.

So the first day of classes started. One of my coworkers walked me around to different classes and introduced me, where I ran through a gamut of Thai teenagers, staring and gawking at me, like I was a new American toy for them to play with--it's sort of broken and doesn't understand a word they're saying, but it's funny for them anyway. Then I started teaching my first class, a level 3 English class for Japanese majors.

About twenty minutes into class it struck me: I have never been trained to be a teacher before, and even worse than that, I always assumed if I WAS to teach...hmm...maybe they'd speak the same language as me. It's not that these kids don't know any English, but I suppose my expectations were a little too high before classes started. But I barely managed to make it through the class, teaching them the simplest of introductions, and then transitioning into what hobbies we like. Difficult stuff, huh?

Then my level 1 started. Before I started teaching, I had been told by every teacher, coworker, and Thai citizen that the kids are bad. Like, really bad. Like, screeching, annoying monkeys with the attention span of a goldfish and a relentless love for talking on their cell phones. Oh, they were completely right.

Not all the kids are just terrible, but for the most part, I am more of a babysitter than I am a teacher to these level 1 bastards. I'd say half of the first class was spent just waiting for them to shut up just enough for me to say a few words. I mean, I could start cursing to describe how flustered and overwhelmed I was, but then this blog would just be too long.

My biggest concern, however, wasn't that the kids were misbehaved little monsters. It was, "what the HELL am I going to do to fill two hours worth of class time every day?" I mean, seriously, what am I going to do? I don't really know how to make lesson plans (nor do I want to) and for a while that Monday, I was pretty much depressed. I just had no idea how I was going to do this job, even though it was pretty much how everyone had described it to me. How do you really prepare for that kind of thing anyway? It's one thing to hear about it, but it's another thing to be screaming over twenty 16-year-old girls who all speak a different language than you.

So how did things get better? Why haven't I moved back to America or David Carradine'd myself in my closet? I've had a lot of help from some of my fellow foreign language teachers in my department. Joel and Roger in particular, fellow English teachers, assured me that my feelings of desperation at the beginning of a semester are completely normal. Joel told me that he always starts class 15 minutes late and ends 15 minutes early. Play lots of games.

Little things like that have really helped me get acclimated to teaching in such a different environment. Also, when I am not teaching my little level 1 monkeys, the kids aren't really too bad. My highest level class, IEP (Intensive English Program) are actually eager to learn, and not too dumb either.

So things are slowly getting better. I still feel like I'm going to explode when I am in my Level 1 classes, but everyone just says to relax, and don't take it too seriously. All I know is that teaching here is a LOT different than it is back in the states. I'm continually amazed by how relaxed everything has been from the school. No one has even checked in on my classes to make sure that I am...ya know...teaching. I feel like I could be some degenerate drug addict who barely got his bachelor's, and now they're trusting the education of their youth in my hands. I mean, luckily my drug problem isn't that serious, so that's not the case.

Ok, phew, on to more fun things. The weekend. I had a really good time this weekend. Unlike during the week, where I spent most of my time alone and in the neighborhood (because let's face it I still don't know how to get around), I went out Friday and Saturday night to some different bars. I met up with Andy, the guy who had the same job I have now, and who lived in the same apartment that I live in now. We had emailed before I got to the Thailand, and this weekend he showed me around and took me to some pretty groovy little places. And yes, there was alcohol.

Andy is big into rugby, so I met all of his rugby mates (I say mates because most of them are British), played pool, watched a rugby game (Australia beat England, bullocks!) and had some beers. They were all really great guys, and the rugby team they play on is like one big social network for meeting new people. I may join them for a practice or two and see how I like it. Now I don't know if anyone reading this has any experience with rugby, but it looks like it hurts. A lot. Like, a whole lot. But hey, a little pain might not be bad. At least it'll be good exercise.

Yesterday I actually jammed with a fellow expat I met through a coworker, David. He plays drums, and was eager to jam with someone else, since he hadn't done it in a while. We went to a small studio that comes fully equipped for musicians to just come in and start playing. And for the low low price of 150 bhat (4.50) per hour, it was a great little deal. I got to play bass, and even jam on some Multicoloured Mirrors tunes. He was a pretty good drummer. He's a bit older than me, and maybe we won't become best friends, but it's always fun to jam. Always.

Well that's all I can think to write about for now. I just got out of teaching a level 1 and I am exhausted, contemplating changing all the stuff I wrote earlier about how things are getting better (just kidding...sort of). I am slowly starting to figure my way around the city, and the more I learn the more I enjoy it here. I'll just make sure I keep relaxing at work, and not take anything too seriously (sounds great right), and I think things will continue to be smoother.

Oh, one more thing I wanted to mention: THAI FOOD IS THE BEST. There is nothing more satisfying than getting a big delicious plate of rice and pork and veggies for 25 bhat (about 80 cents). I guess it's just cheapskate in me, but it makes me so happy. Street food is absolutely delicious as well. It's so fresh and spicy and exciting. Wow, I just reread this paragraph and I sound like a food-worshipping fat-ass. Oh well, a spade's a spade, right.